It wasn't easy to answer questions about how I felt leaving the bus and returning to Australia after two years of living overseas. To most people, I gave a halfhearted smile and a generic 'home is great!' lie. But the truth is, I wasn't enjoying being back in my Australian home—I missed my mobile home, my Submarine, freedom, life on the road and the excitement of travelling.
I started to question what made me happy and what home meant to me. Was it Australia where my roots are or a bus I converted into a cozy space that had become my home?
There were two reasons why I returned to Australia. First, I wanted to visit my family and elderly grandparents. Secondly, I did not wish to drive through Nicaragua amid a civil war. Choosing to see my family and my safety, I stored the bus in an outside parking lot with the Panamanian government for just $2 a day for eight months.
Hair dyed funky colours Going out with friends Riding my motorbike
I started examining what made me happy. What was home? Was it Australia, where my roots are, or a bus I converted into a cozy space that had become my home? My home will always be in Australia with my friends and family. Whether they are getting married, producing adorable children, striving for career success or purchasing investment properties – they will always be there. But I'd also been away for a long time, and my perception of Sydney was not as i recalled.
The first few months were challenging, and adjusting to a routine was tough. I kept busy and slipped straight into full-time work. Yet, despite all the daily distractions, I felt myself slowly sinking into the oncoming symptoms of post-travel blues. In Sydney, everyone seems to be on a timeline, rushing through their life to the next deadline, behind the wheel in traffic and constantly busy. The comforts of materialistic and everyday life were enjoyable but also overwhelming. I felt out of place and disconnected from myself in this environment. My long-distance relationship at the time was suffering, and I could feel it slowly slipping away, like trying to hold sand through one hand. Eventually, it did.
WHAT WILL I MISS ABOUT AUSTRALIA?
During my six months in Australia, I will miss plenty of nostalgic moments. Family and friends are the first. Italian family dinners where we yell as loud as possible rather than talk to each other. Milky Joe, my albino python, draped over me while we basked in the sun. Taking my café racer motorbike for a spin at sunset and my long coffee dates with my friends and dog Chilli.
Additionally, materialistic comforts that I have learned to live without – manicured nails, blow-dried or vibrantly coloured hair, morning coffee from Rukus café, Sunday Funday find-a-words, hot showers, bubble baths, skin peels and an endless choice of wardrobe attire. All of which I'm leaving behind and sacrificing to live off-grid.
WHY AM I KEEN TO RETURN TO THE BUS
As my departure date closed in on the horizon, I was set to leave what I thought was home. But I realised my bus, which i had lived the past two years, was where my heart knew home, and it was my space to feel more intuned with how I wanted to live.
I am nervous and eager to return to my home on wheels. I am guessing a potential flat battery, mould growing in the roof and a few missing surfboards. The first week back on the bus will likely be at the mechanics for tender loving care. Nonetheless, I'm motivated for the challenge ahead of me.
I won't sugarcoat bus life. Owning a vehicle in a foreign country is a full-time job. Our relationship is strong. We are great when the bus is functional, but it's challenging when she's barely holding up and broken. It's a love-hate relationship. The Submarine has pushed me to my ultimate limits. I am learning more about life and myself with each passing day. Living on a bus has taught me many lifelong lessons and skills that only patience and experience can teach.
Family time Home, Newport Beach, Australia Inside the bus
It does slip my mind sometimes to leave bus life in the past. It would be easier and more comfortable to stay in Australia. However, it would also be monotonous. I am craving excitement and adventure. Not ready to give up bus life yet! I have heard, "You will only regret the moments you didn't do in life! Not the moments you did. "
Gypsy life is calling. I never planned on this adventure, nor was it ever a dream. But I love my life and the experience it has become: the journey ahead, the mystery of the unknown, and the memories yet to be made.
Planning for my return to Panama, the rough idea is to find a new team of travellers who share the passion for helping get the Submarine With Wheels back on the road. Film the first month: it will be a roller coaster bus transformation showcasing laughter, booze, sun, and surf. Then continue road-tripping north towards Canada.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of Submarine With Wheels – exciting things are coming.
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